I Am Your Disease

White, Dave. Self-Growth. September 15, 2024, Dave White Illustrations.

White, Dave. Self-Growth. September 15, 2024, Dave White Illustrations.

You know who I am.
You’ve called me your friend.
Wishes of misery and heartache, I send.
I want only to see brought to your knees.
I am the devil inside you,
I am your disease.


I’ll invade all your thoughts.
I’ll take hostage of your soul.
I’ll become your new master.
I’ll have total control.
I’ll maim your emotions.
I’ll run the whole game,
‘Till your entire existence is crippled with shame.


When you call me,
Sometimes I come in disguise.
Quite often, I take you by surprise.
And take you, I will.
Just as you feared.
I only want to hurt you, with no mercy spared.


As for your family, I’ll see its destruction.
I’ll steal every pleasure in your life you ever enjoyed.
I’ll not only hurt you, but I’ll also kill if I please.
I’m your worst living nightmare.
I am your disease.


I bring ways of self-destruction.
Can’t you tell?
I’ll sweep you through Heaven, then drop you into Hell.
Don’t you see,
I’ll choose you forever.
Wherever you go, I’ll catch you.
You won’t see it coming, you won’t even know.


Sometimes, I lay silent,
Waiting for the strike.
What was once yours will become mine.
I take what I like.
I’ll take all you own.
I don’t care who sees.
I am your constant companion.
I am your disease.


If you have any honor,
I’ll strip it away.
You will lose all your hope.
You’ll forget how to pray and become blind.
I will leave you in the darkness.
I’ll reduce you to nothing.
I don’t care.
Don’t underestimate my powers.
I’ll bend you until you break,
Time after time.
I’ll make the world that surrounds you crumble,
With great ease.
Can’t you see?
I’m that mad person you hide inside you.
I am your disease.


But I must say, today, I am really angry.
You want to know why?
You seem not to care what I say, it’s like you’re not listening.
How did I lose my grip on you?
Where did I go wrong?
Have you gone deaf?
One minute I had you, the next its like you were gone.
Listen to me!
You can’t dismiss all the good times we’ve shared.


When you were alone,
Wasn’t it I who was there for you?
When you sold your possessions,
Wasn’t it I who supported and urged you to do so.
I knew what you needed.
Oh, how sad this is to me, to watch you ignore me.


You believe that you’re thinking clear now.
That you’ve escaped me with your life.
You think you found the way out of this by
Seeking help from therapist, medications, family, and friends.
Oh, what fools they are for trying to help you.
They tell you; you’ve won the war with me when you admitted defeat in
the battles and sought help.


Okay, go ahead and surrender,
If that’s what you choose.
I’m not giving up.
I can’t stand to lose.
I will not be damned into failure.
Be damned all your therapy,
Be damned all your AA meetings,
Be damned you Higher Power, however unique.
Be damned all your prayers.
Be damned every addict,
Back to me they eventually stray.


I know it will happen,
I’ve witnessed it many times before.
Those who love misery, always come back crawling for more.
So, you better take comfort in knowing,
I’ll be by your side, always, waiting for the next time you come around.
I am your disease.


You feel like you’re stronger and smarter this time,
Feel as if though there isn’t a mountain you can’t climb.
Well, if you believe that, you haven’t learned a thing.
I’ll still come knocking,
Waiting for the day you step back into my ring.


But you say you are done with me,
So, what can I do?
It is sad in a way,
I had big plans for you.
Creating your nightmare was a dream to me.
I’m going to miss you,
We made quite a team.


Don’t forget me,
I won’t forget you.
I promise I will always stand by your side,
Watching all that you do.
I’ll be waiting and ready.
Call whenever you please.
I’m close by, inside you.
I am your disease.


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